The Good Parent - Give Your Children What They Need, Not What They Want

Towards the end of the classic 1971 film, "Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory", based on the book of the same name, the ususally affable Mr. Wonka flies into a rage at Charlie and Grandpa Joe for stealing Fizzie Lifting Drink.

In this scene, the most powerful and significant in the entire film, Mr. Wonka gives Charlie what he needs as opposed to what Charlie wants. 

Wonka, from what we gather, is not a parent. However, if he were, would be the kind of father that we would all benefit greatly from.

If we've done our jobs as parents, children understand that we only want what's best for them and only do things for them, including disciplining them, with that - and only that - in mind.

It's understandable why children would want to disconnect from their parents after being disciplined. After all, they're human beings; us parents don't like being disciplined any more than they do. If children understand that we only want what's best for them, the amount of time it takes for them to accept their discipline and eventually appreciate the lesson learned. The more they understand their parents role in their lives, the quicker said acceptance and appreciation.

It's at this crux that Mr. Wonka conveys what he wants Charlie to do. One could argue that his bed side manner rude and insensitive, but Wonka is clearly heartbroken at having to discipline Charlie. It's obvious he had Charlie in mind to be the winner all along. Wonka doesn't shirk his responisility as a parent and as harsh as it may seem, tests Charlie effectively.

Charlie gets the message and passes the test with flying colors. It's at this edge that many parents fail as parents and sadly, ultimately, fail their children.

Remember, we're their parents, not their friends. Give your children what they need.

Leaking "P-Trap" - Got Off Easy

Recently my wife and I noticed that the same area in our kitchen ceiling where I had repaired a leak in our master bedroom shower several years ago was again showing signs that something was wrong. I pulled everything apart and much to my surprise I found the shower drain was leaking. Again. Well, what else could it have been? But still, damn.

I shouldn't have been surprised since I had tried to patch the leak last time as opposed to literally fixing it. Big difference. This time I decided not to take any chances and called a plumber to get an evaluation and most likely a professional repair of whatever needed to get fixed. How much could it run, right? After all, this is a drain and not a water line and I had already done all the hard stuff like cutting open the ceiling. The service charge for someone to walk through our front door was a more than reasonable $29. C'mon in, dear plumber pal of mine!  

Imagine my shock and dismay when he gave me this repair estimate of almost $700 to replace the "p-trap" that he said had a hairline crack in it. Love how he calls it, "an investment". Good thing he was such a nice guy otherwise I would have told him where he could put his "investment". 

That initial service fee of $29 was more like the initial service fee you pay when you first step inside a New York City taxi. Faster than the way a NYC cab fare escalates, he had his hands around my wallet for $81 since he had spent some time trying to fix the leak before giving my wife and I his grim diagnosis. Frankly, I thought the whole repair would have run me around $100, maybe $200 but $700? I paid the $81 fare to get him out of my house and while I still had a leaking shower drain, just like when my ancient cars start acting up, at least now I had a professional diagnosis and I knew what needed to be done.

Apparently, I'm naive when it comes to what tradesmen are allowed to charge when it comes to home repairs these days. He claimed the estimate was all by the book too. Yeah, but whose book? I get that they have over head and are entitled to make a profit but, c'mon. $700 to replace a couple of pieces of PVC pipe? I shudder to think what plumbing fees would run on a major renovation if just changing a shower drain could be so expensive.

A wonderful associate at Lowe's answered all of my questions and everything that I needed to do the job myself cost me, you sitting down?, a whopping $27. Yes. Twenty. Seven. Dollars. I've never done much plumbing but with the prospect of not so much saving but not spending so much money, what did I have to lose? The nice plumber even said that he would apply the $81 he charged us already and apply it towards the estimate if we decided to have him come back and do the work. I had literally nothing to lose and roughly $600 to gain. Or not spend.

Now, I have to wonder if he would do that if I brought him back in after I had screwed up something but I'll never know.

Almost forgot to mention that when I was talking to the associate at Lowe's, when I told him that a plumber wanted $700 to replace my shower drain he said, "Only $700? Wow, you got off easy".